I suck at diabetes
I’ve been having some ‘off’ days. By off I mean, I’ve been cranky and not in the best of moods. When I get like that I don’t like to post because I know I’ll come across whiny and annoying.
So what’s got me down? It’s a lot of things. We’ve had a lot of stress in our lives the past few months, and being sick twice in two months didn’t help. But right now what’s weighing heavily on my mind the most is my health.
Back in 2004 when I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, I knew it was time to do something about my weight. I was freaked out but determined to get it under control and fast. I read a lot of books, did a lot of research and soul-searching. I thought I had a handle on things.
My goal was to lose enough weight to be able to control the diabetes on my own without medication. I did great. I lost almost 50 lbs over the next few months. I felt great. My BG levels were under control. I had some ups and downs but for the most part I was on the right track.
Then, I’m not sure what happened. My weight loss plateaued and I just hung out at the same weight for a very long time… about two years. It was frustrating but at the time I was hyper-focused on my job and living for that job (like an idiot). I stopped exercising but continued to eat right so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Even when I was diagnosed with borderline high cholesterol, I brushed it off knowing I’d “get back on track” soon. I knew I even gained a ‘couple’ pounds back but I wasn’t going to worry. I mentioned it here a few times how I was going to exercise and kick my butt back into gear. I meant it at the times I posted.
But I failed.
The reality check came the weekend Jack and I went on our little getaway. I brought some jeans I haven’t worn in a while. When I put them on I noticed right away they were snug, but I figured it was because they were freshly washed and would stretch out a bit. WRONG. I was miserable. I sat through breakfast wondering if I could get away with unbuttoning them and wondering if the circulation would come back to my legs when I stood up. After breakfast I explained to Jack my discomfort and we went and picked me up a few pairs of Capri sweats so I could breath again.
I wanted to cry. Those pants not only fit me when I got them over a year ago, they were sort of loose. Now I couldn’t even breathe in them.
A few days ago I finally got the courage to get back on the scale. I’ve gained back 13 pounds of the 50 I lost. It doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but it’s definitely showing and it’s obviously affecting my health both physically and mentally.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I thought about posting (mostly to myself) another “I’m going to do something about this” type post but FFS I’ve done that and I clearly don’t follow through. Getting all self-pitying about it isn’t helping either.
At this point, I just don’t know WHAT to do to get the motivation, the time, and the energy to do what needs to be done with this body of mine.
I’m SO glad it’s Friday!
I woke up in a good mood today. Better than normal. It was the first time in a while I could even joke around with the guys at work. I’ve simply not been in the mood. The good mood sneaked up on me and dawned on me halfway through the day: “Hey, I’m actually HAPPY!” 
I’m not an unhappy person. In fact, quite the opposite. But there has been so much stress in our lives lately, and given my obsessive personality, I’ve been way too focused on the negatives. I told myself last weekend I would start focusing on the good things, and I succeeded in some areas. Others, not so much. And when one of those areas takes up 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, it’s hard to let it go. Hopefully that will work itself out soon.
Some good things that happened this week:
Lots of good stuff to focus on. And we’ll keep taking things a day at a time.
Saturday’s child works hard for a living
(6:54:19 AM) Jay: and good morning
(6:54:19 AM) Jay : didn’t realize you were awake
(6:54:20 AM) Jay : heh
(6:55:56 AM) Space: lol
(6:55:57 AM) Space: yep
(6:56:05 AM) Space: start work ‘officially’ in five minutes
(6:56:10 AM) Space: (but I’ve been working for the last half hour)
(6:56:12 AM) Jay : ahh
(6:56:22 AM) Jay : typical Tracie 
(6:56:33 AM) Space: lol
(6:56:46 AM) Space: yeah but I’d rather do OT if needed in the AM than at night when all my kids and hubby are home
(6:57:00 AM) Space: it’s not really needed today but we’re going to be short handed and I wanted to be sure we’re caught up
(6:57:20 AM) Jay : naw, that’s cool.
(6:57:23 AM) Space: plus, my email addy is plastered all over creation since my promotion so I get customers emailing me directly a lot now
(6:57:24 AM) Jay : it’s still typical
(6:57:49 AM) Jay : you have a well honed dedication to your work
(6:58:03 AM) Jay : definitely one of your redeeming qualities
(6:58:14 AM) Space: lol well thanks?
Just in case anyone was wondering… you know with the accusations some ex loserlunarpages employees are flinging around about me in retaliation to a few of my posts. Jay’s my buddy and has been for a long time.. but he was also a co-worker in the past, and at one time my superior… so he’d know. And I really was born on a Saturday. That’s proof enough right there, right?
I’m glad it’s Friday, though. I’ve been fighting a cold for a week.. and not sleeping well. I’m hoping it’s due to me not feeling well and this will be short lived. I love my bed but it’s times like this I wonder if a foam mattress would help. I seem to go through insomnia struggles once or twice a year that last 2-3 weeks at a time and it’s maddening. And makes me a cranky bitch. 
Technorati Tags: saturday’s child, she works hard for the money
Medical jewelry
I feel totally weird going back on topic after three posts about how much Lunarpages sucks… Actually it was two posts and one about my blond moment… But alas, I’ve come clean and feel good about that so it’s time to move on. Unless they do something really stupid again (I have every confidence they will) and I feel compelled to revisit the subject.
Medical Jewelry
When I was first diagnosed with diabetes and put on metformin I was told I needed to wear medical ID jewelry of some sort, preferably a bracelet. In case of an emergency, it’s smart for a diabetic to wear some sort of medical ID that alerts medical professionals you have a condition. It’s a good idea to include what medications you are on as well. For the longest time I wore this ugly stainless steel bracelet. I couldn’t take it anymore so I started looking into something prettier and possibly in gold. What I found is that a gold medical bracelet is pretty spendy.
I ended up purchasing a fairly inexpensive 14k gold normal ID bracelet and having it engraved, then buying a red and gold medical alert charm to hang off it. It was so cute! I thought I was being so smart and thrifty by doing it that way.
That’s what I get for thinking…
The engraving on the top side has almost worn off, and the charm fell off long ago never to be seen again. I still wear it, but trying to cut corners on this turned out to not be my greatest idea. It just looks like any old bracelet now and I doubt a medical professional would even notice it let alone read it unless the light was just right.
Now that I’m working I’m thinking of saving up for a nicer actual medical bracelet. Something like this:
The chain on this one is exactly like the chain on my current bracelet. But the engraving plate is much thicker and has the medical alert symbol built right onto it. No charm to fall off and lose forever. The cost: almost $400.00.
*gulp*
Maybe I should go back to the ugly-and-clunky-but-functional stainless steel one that doesn’t match anything. Booooooo!
Technorati Tags: medical id, gold medical bracelet, medical id jewelry, medical jewelry
Lunarpages gets personal
Over at Web Hosting talk, someone claiming to be an employee of Lunarpages posted what he/she called the truth (here’s a link):
how bout a little from you Merlain’s Lair?
Merlain’s Lair = Scott Wilson
Merlain’s Lair = Disgruntled X-employee of Lunarpages
Merlain’s Lair = The guy that knew Lunarpages was “testing” the 404 error page and getting ready to make an announcment when his “Cybersex” buddy Tracie got fired from Lunarpages. So he started posting BS regarding LP. (and still does)
Merlain’s Lair = the guy that only posts when he has a chance to talk smack about his x-employer (get a life)go search his posts. He mix’s very little truth with his spin.
But you know what, no one really cares. ML so go ahead.
I am currently a LP employee, and I was his co-worker. I’m just tired of seeing his crap.Here’s my spin. I have been with the company (LP)for almost 4 years. They have almost 200k customers and people get fired for not treating customers right or doing their Job in a negligent manner. ….right tracie? They also treat their employee’s right.
The company was started by 2 guys in a room over a garage, and now they have over 100 employee’s……with 4 Data Centers. They ALWAYS attempt to do the right thing, by customer’s and employee’s……..PERIOD
Like with any company of size….some people love them and some don’t. usually spammers and abusive type customers are the ones that don’t like LP from what I have seen…ya, just like merlain’s Lair….how would ANY company like to have an employee with his mentality in the ranks?
Glad your gone Biatch
Screenshot:
And then again after some replies from people chastising him/her for posting anonymous:
I’m posting anon because if i didn’t merlains liar would try to have me fired.
hahah,
He know’s that LP staff are not allowed to play the trolling games that go on here, as a matter of fact a meeting was called today to remind us of that because he did just that, sent an email or called to try to have me fired, nice try.
I am not posting here to represent, or take up for, defend or otherwise promote LP. But as a matter of truth i thought it was relevant to let you know that I DO happen to know what I’m talking about.
As anyone can see reading this….Truth is not much of what these people are about
Any forum will ban a person for abuse…even this one. MLiar was mod at LP forums and he knows what will get you banned there..so him getting banned and then posting screens shots, and then his little posse doing the same, wow…big deal.
How long you think it will take me to get banned from Midphase where you currently mod their forum MLiar? lets see, then i can start taking screen shots and acting like a vindictive self serving puke like yourself? ….And while we are trying to get people fired…I wonder how long they will keep you there once I start taking some screen shots letting them know they type of person they have running their forums.
Moral of this story folks is this: Don’t take everything you see in forums for face value…if someone is too loud on a subject, they usually have a “Motive”.
I have one too…I don’t like MLiar
I won’t be back because I respect my job, but that isn’t to say I won’t be on your *** Mliar
wanna see who can get who fired first? apparantly you do, and make no mistake…this is personal.
Screenshot:
I found the second post odd. To say the least. Holding a meeting just to tell everyone don’t troll? Yet he does anyway? Weird.
As for motive, I have one: The truth. If nothing else, it helps me to come clean for my wrong-doings while employed at Lunarpages.
“sometruth” posted I got fired and who Merlin’sLair really is. MerlinsLair is indeed Scott. I’m not sure he was hiding that fact, but I confirm it’s true. ’sometruth’ claims I was fired. That is also true. That’s about where the truth in “sometruth’s” post ends.
Scott resigned from Lunarpages several months before my job ended with Lunarpages in June 2007. He, as well as I, had no way of knowing about the 404 pages because we did not work at Lunarpages during that time. The Lunarpages 404 fiasco happened in October 2007. Here’s a post about it on Web Hosting Talk. Note the dates.
The only proof I have of when my job ended is this blog post: Hunting posted on July 11th, 2007, and this letter of recommendation I received on August 2nd 2007 from Lunarpages.
Why did I get fired? Here’s the events that led up to it (prior to these events, I had never received anything but praise and positive feedback for my performance — double check that letter of recommendation if you’re in doubt):
Remember this from my Dreamhost and Lunarpages post?
Maybe sometime I’ll tell you all about the time they orchestrated their biggest reduction in force ever, and left a few of us to play it out alone while they ran off to a vacation in the Grand Canyon on the week the RIF took place.
I got fired by Amy a week after this took place. Here is the semi-short story version:
Chad, the operations manager asked me to trim people from my team. “Trim the fat” is the term that was used. This came on the heels of them removing the toll free number from their website and raising prices on domain registrations.
He asked me to do a mini-review of each member of my team and let him know which few I’d recommend firing. I gave him two names of people that weren’t working out. He took my mini review list into a meeting, then came to me late (quitting time) on Friday afternoon and told me on the following Monday I was to let go seven people from my team. He gave me the list of names, and told me eight more people were being let go from the phone support team. Fifteen people total were going to be let go on Monday. He then told me effective immediately:
- Phone support was no longer going to be offered on the weekends
- Phone support hours during the week were being cut back
- Dedicated chat (a service offered with dedicated hosting) was shutting down for good
- Managed service for dedicated hosting customers was no longer going to be free
He said he expected there would be morale issues and some may even quit once this all took place. I agreed. It was going to be a rough day. He instructed me to tell people this was due to ‘budget cuts’ if anyone asked what was going on. (I ended up saying we were restructuring as I felt ‘budget cuts’ sounded more negative than ‘restructuring’.)
He then informed me he wouldn’t be around on Monday (the day of the firings), Tuesday, or Wednesday as he and his brothers, Clay (the manager of the in-house phone support team), Chase (not sure what he did at Lunarpages) and his father (the owner of Lunarpages) had a pre-planned fishing trip to the Grand Canyon they “just could not cancel”. So I was on my own to fire the seven from my team. After consulting with the human resources manager, I did as I was asked on the day I was asked to do it. It was hard. I had knots in my stomach, but I did it.
That Monday was not a fun day and there was indeed morale issues and people threatening to quit. I tried to voice my concerns to Amy as the day progressed and people kept coming to me in a panic. It didn’t go well. She wouldn’t understand how there could be any sort of morale issues or why people would want to quit. My conversations with her over this continued to deteriorate so I gave up. I couldn’t get through to her. I just wanted to find a way to brighten the spirits of remaining staff who were justifiably worried and scared, especially since Amy sent out questionnaires to all of them asking them to justify their jobs and document everything they do. (This didn’t help the morale issue at all… but she wouldn’t see that).
My mistake in this was contacting her via IM chats. I should have called her. I came across stronger than I meant to and I take full responsibility for that. I followed it up the next day with a phone call and apologized if I came across strong. I explained my intentions and re-voiced my concerns. She seemed open and receptive to the phone call.
To back up a bit: I had worked for Lunarpages for 3.5 years. I had taken only one 8 day vacation in that entire time. This does not count a few days off I took when my mother was in a horrible car accident that resulted in her having a broken back. I took very little time off for this as I was able to work from my mother’s hospital room using the hospital’s WIFI connection and my laptop. This also doesn’t count the few days off I took when my stepfather passed away.
Backing up a bit further, Christmas 2006 I asked for five days off. It was approved. Then it was taken away at the last minute because they felt it just wasn’t a good time for me to take any time off. I complied. The following April (2007) I asked for five days off at the end of June. This was approved.
Back to the day of the layoffs/firings: it took place one week before my pre-scheduled vacation that I got approved in April. Since the owner, Chad, Clay, and Chase went on vacation DURING the RIF, I didn’t think there would be an issue for me to keep my pre-scheduled vacation the week AFTER the RIF. When Chad got back from his own vacation, he informed me he didn’t think I should keep my vacation. He said it was a bad time.
…
At this point it had been over two years since I had any real time off. I worked hundreds of overtime hours (I was on salary so no overtime pay) for them and had done everything they asked me to, fair, moral, immoral, right, or wrong: EVERYTHING. So it really stung to hear him say these words the DAY he got back from his own vacation.
At this point you can imagine how “impressed” my husband was. He was actually downright livid and it was going to cause some serious issues between us if I canceled our getaway. (We already had a hotel booked..) So I told Chad I was taking the vacation. He asked me to cut it short at least. I said I couldn’t do that. Amy then confronted me about it and was shocked I was taking my full vacation. I explained the situation (Lunarpages canceling my vacation at Christmas, not having a vacation in over two years, that this was pre-planned, etc). They both made it clear they weren’t happy that I was going to keep my vacation.
This made no sense to me at all. Why would it be OK for most of the managers to take a vacation during the RIF but it wasn’t OK for the assistant manager to take a pre-approved vacation after? By then things had already settled down some. I could see it if this was a case of “everyone cancels their vacation” but it only looked bad for me to take one, apparently. I should have listened to my husband. I was being used and abused.
I went on my vacation as planned. I needed it, and I deserved it. So did my husband. Amy and Chad called me on my cell phone in the middle of the vacation (we were still in our hotel room) and fired me for not being a team player and for being resistant to change.
So, am I disgruntled? Not now. I was. Oh I was very disgruntled. I was devastated when this happened. I loved my job and the people I worked with. It ruined our vacation as I was a wreck for the rest of it. It took me about a month to get over the sting of it all. Then I enjoyed the rest of my summer with my children and family.
Now, I have a wonderful job with awesome people. It was a blessing in disguise for Lunarpages to let me go. I am a much happier and healthier person now. Working there gave me a lot of experience and I learned a lot. I formed friendships with several of my co-workers that are still intact today and for that I’m grateful. So it wasn’t ALL bad.
Technorati Tags: lunarpages, lunarpages sucks, lunarpages get personal, dreamhost billing fiasco, lunarpages 404
