Jack ‘n Tracie

Bob (my stepdad) passed away Friday, August 11th.

He collapsed Wednesday evening, while my mom wasn’t home, and his brother had fallen asleep on the couch. So no one found him till it was too late. When Ken found him and called 911, it took them 12 minutes to get his heartbeat back, but no one knew how long he was down. The estimate was at least an hour.

He had no brain activity when they got him to the hospital. They put him on a cooling machine hoping to slow down any further brain damage. They kept him on this machine 24 hours but when they warmed him backup Thursday night, there was no change and after more tests they told my mom Friday morning that there was no hope for recovery. He was brain dead.

We gathered the whole family Friday at noon to the hospital; all Bob’s sisters, Bob’s mom, Bob’s brother, me, my sister, my brother, and of course my mom, and had a meeting with the doctor, social worker, and Bob’s nurse. (They commented they’d never seen such a big family show up for a meeting like this and they had to use one of their own conference rooms instead of the ones they usually provide families because we wouldn’t all fit) The doctor explained in very certain and simple terms what happened to Bob and what his prognosis was (no recovery).

When the doctor was finished explaining everything, and answering all our questions, he and my mom announced that my mom wanted to turn off the life support as she felt this is what Bob would want. My mom worried there might be some resistance. But she knows (and I fully agree) that her husband would NOT want to live like that. Fortunately, Bob’s entire family all agreed that Bob wouldn’t want to live like that and letting him go is what he’d want.

At around 4PM Bob’s 3 sisters gathered around Bob’s mom, while my sister and brother and I gathered around our mom, and we watched as they turned off life support and took the breathing tube out. My mom then crawled into bed with Bob and held him as he passed. It only took about 15 minutes. It was very emotional and I’ve never experienced anything like that before.

My mom has had such a hard year. The accident, her father passed away last month, and now her husband. She’s been doing pretty good, but she’s had one of us with her at all times. She’s a strong women but I still worry.

Ken is still staying with her, and she told him he could stay as long as he needed. (She does need his help still since there are so many things she physically can’t do yet). He still drinks and smokes, but at least he does more around the house. He’s even mowing the lawn now.

Bob’s funeral is going to be Friday. Then on September 16, what would’ve been Mom and Bob’s anniversary, the whole family is taking his ashes to Walalla Lake in Eastern Oregon. His family has a cabin there and they go every year and he loved it there.