Jack ‘n Tracie

Yesterday our neighbor reminded us that the city is going to be doing a project on our street and requested us to be sure that no plants were hanging over the curb and that all trees had at least 13 feet clearance from the ground. The notice said if we didn’t do it, they would, for a fee. It was due to be done by today. This was at 4 pm yesterday that we were reminded. UGH!

The plants part was easy.. we just had one small flowery ground-cover stuff that was hanging over only slightly. Got that taken care of. But our only had 9-10 feet of clearance (with no snow/ice on them, hehe). So we had to chop some limbs off. We got done in record time though. Jack removed 5-6 limbs and then chopped them up for firewood, and Melissa and I cleaned up the mess. Just cleaning up the mess took Melissa and as long as it did for Jack to chop up the wood… So that was yesterday afternoon.

Today is my day off and is the one day of the week I can make important calls and such. We’re in the process of repairing our credit.. this is a tedious and sometimes frustrating project. Well, today I had to make a phone call. I set the boys up watching PBS and got the information ready to make my call.

I’m on hold for 5 minutes or so and all was well. The boys were quietly watching Sesame Street then finally a real person gets on the line.

Now.. those of you who are parents will totally understand the phenomenon that occurs as soon as one begins speaking to a live person on the telephone. By now you’re probably even nodding your head knowing what I am about to write….

You guessed it. The Phenomenon that makes children flip out at the precise time the live person on the other end of your telephone speaks her first words went into effect. Long ago I came to the conclusion that there has to be some supernature force that makes this happen so precisely. It’s truly a miracle when The Phenomenon does NOT occur.

Ok, so yeah I’ve lost it but seriously, this was just … awesome. The second the lady on the other end of the phone began her introduction, Cody let out an ear-splitting scream and yelled at Casey to stop touching him. Casey of course giggled loudly and touched him anyway. I made a mad dash for the back porch, ever thankful for our cordless phones, and tried to coherently identifiy myself to “Brenda”. (I did manage to hear her name.)

She asked me to verify my address. But I needed to ask her which address she had on file for me (since we’ve moved twice in the last 3 years). She repeated that I just need to verify my mailing address, and before I could answer, Cody comes screaming out the back door trying to escape Casey’s torture. It was evident that his escape route was through the kitchen as he managed to pick up a breakfast plate full of syrup and was licking the syrup off as he dodged Casey. Casey’s giggling wildly behind Cody as Cody’s yelling at him to stop and saying , “Moooooooooooommmmmmmm! Casey won’t stop!” while stuffing sticky syrup-fingers into this mouth. Brenda is saying, “Ma’am? Your address? Your address please, Ma’am?” I’m trying to wave them back into the house but they were too busy freaking out to notice.

Of course this all happens simultaneously over the course of about two seconds. I wasn’t sure who to address first; The sticky child, or the wild child, or Brenda repeating herself. I told Brenda to hold on a sec while I got my kids quiet, but she ignored that and continued to repeat herself asking me to verify my address, and Casey continued to giggle and squeak (yes squeak) while Cody yelled at him and at me to make Casey stop while slurping up syrup… I just wanted to scream at all of them to SHUT UP! I didn’t of course.

I asked Brenda to hold on a second (again). Brenda, clearly did not have children. She just got annoyed. I shoo’d the boys back into the house and told Casey to stop bugging Cody, then told Cody to put the plate in the sink. Then I told Brenda my address and asked her the question I wanted to ask. She was snotty and rude and had no patience. So I asked to speak to someone else. She hung up on me.

This at least gave me time to get the sticky plate from Cody and send both boys to their room for 5 minutes of TIME OUT!

When I called back and got Jackie, she was much more understanding. And she laughed when I told her what happened the first time I called. She knew all about The Phenomenon. I got my questioned answered before it could occur again and we hung up. The boys are now playing quietly and contently… not a peep out of them. Of course. I’m not on the phone. :crazy: