Our New Toy

Welcome to our family, the KIDMOBILE! :hehe:

(Cody in the background eating watermelon)

(With Cody again)

(Melissa in this one) Read more

Bleh…..

Yaknow… if I could FIND some freaking BATTERIES, I’d show off some GOOD news for a change. But… NOOOOO.

@#$@$#%@^@$#%#$@$#@$$#&$*^^$#%#!@$@#$@#$!!! ok.. I feel better now. Off to the store….

Sad Day…

Today was a hard day. Last night we heard that a little boy named Johnny had been killed by two dogs in our city Saturday night. I was shocked and felt so bad for all the people involved. Such a senseless tragedy.

Then this morning my mom called me and told me she heard that Johnny went to Melissa’s school. Jack got Melissa’s class picture, and we discovered Johnny was in Melissa’s class. I didn’t realize how close to home this happened. And now I had to tell Melissa that one of her classmates died…

How do you explain such a thing? I had no clue.. and I had only minutes to come up with how I was going to tell her. So, I was as gentle as I could be while telling her what happened. At first I just explained that he had died… but her next question was how? It was really hard for me to tell her how. Perhaps because I’m such a dog-lover and we have a dog… but I told her the truth. I knew she’d hear all about it at school.

She cried. She said he was really nice, and funny because he told a lot of jokes and did funny things. I decided I’d go to school with her, knowing it was going to be a hard day for everyone there.

And I was right. My first look at Melissa’s teacher and I almost broke down. I could tell she’d been crying. She’s such a sweet lady, who cares a lot about her kids. She told me in private that it took her all morning to compose herself for class.

There was a crisis team and counselors there to help the kids (and the teachers and us parents if we needed) deal with it. There were several parents there with their kids. Johnny’s best friend’s mom was there with him and he cried a lot and it just broke my heart.

They took it easy today. They had lots of time to share stories about Johnny and just talk. We drew pictures and made cards for the family. Melissa made a card for Johnny’s mom and his two sisters (who also go to her school). After that they tried to get back to normal a bit… it was hard though. Melissa and I left early to pick up the boy’s from my sister’s.

Melissa did well at school. Having me there was comforting for her. She stayed close to my side or on my lap during story/sharing times. She was quiet most of the day, and you know how she keeps things inside. She’ll express more of her feelings when she’s ready. That’s just how she is.

Please say a prayer for this family. I can’t even begin to fathom what they are going through. Here’s the stories in some of our local newspapers and tv stations online:

KOIN Channel 6 (includes a picture of Johnny)
Dog Maul: Mother, Father Mourn Loss Of Young Son
Front Page of the Oregonian
The Columbian

Hello

So, it’s been an interesting week. To say the least. Wednesday, I was kinda numb all day… and tired beyond belief even though I slept like a rock Tuesday night. Which is surprising… usually when I’ve had a stressful or disturbing day, I don’t sleep well but I think I was just that worn out from all the emotions, stress, and the overall rollercaster that occurred the day before. I went to bed sore from head to toe, like I had ran a marathon or something. I don’t think there was a muscle in my body that wasn’t tense.

I woke up Wednesday feeling hungover, as Jack noted in the comments in the previous entry. I didn’t drink one drop of alcohol… But I dove into my job (which is going well btw) and just kinda went with the flow. That’s pretty much how the rest of my week has gone.

I know people have tons of questions… and I thought about going over much of it here. But I’ve decided that this isn’t the place to air such things. For starters, there’s so much that the 800 megs Lunarpages gives me would probably be used right up. hehe. But really, I’d rather just people ask in person or privately and go from there. Some things just aren’t meant to be public knowledge.

The obvious good in all that happened this week is finding the half-sister I’ve searched so long for. And while this is awkward for both of us, we have lots of time to build a relationship; one day at a time. I look forward to that, and I hope she does too.

And to completely change subjects and move on to something lighter, I’m chopping all my hair off again. So, there’s your warning. (Don’t want anyone passing out again… lol)

Happy Blogiversary!

Hehe I made a word. (Blog + anniversary… Get it? Ok so it sucks. Sue me!)

I’m two days late with this. I was all geared up to remind everyone that Saturday was our one year anniversary of the birth of this site! (The blog version that is.) Well, I got side-tracked with work, then I had two days off, then some crazy news got thrown into my lap, so this is a few days late.

But I bring lots of news. As most of you know from yesterday’s entry, I found out last night that my grandmother died. I was very upset. And I was miffed that I was not informed. She died March 8th, 2004 according to the obituary I found and posted the link to. I immediately blamed my grandfather, who I did not get along with. But then this morning I found out that he died last July. I wasn’t informed of that either.

The story is long… most of you know the condensed version. Some of you know the whole thing. But all of you know one thing, (especially if you ever read the “100 Things about Tracie” page) and that is I had a half-sister out there that I never met. All I knew about her was that she was born a few years after I was, she was my biological father’s daughter, and that her name was Jodi. Since I was 10 years old I’ve known about her and even tried searching for her a few times. But with only a first name and nothing else, I didn’t have much to go on.

That is, until today. I introduce to you, my sister, Jodi! She’s already left a few comments here. Say hi!!

So now you’re probably thinking WTF??? Well, yeah… I was too.

Ok so it goes like this: Last night my mom calls me and tells me she received a letter addressed to me with my maiden name, and it was from Eugene. I told her to open it immediately and read it to me. I knew exactly what it had to be…. news about my grandmother or grandfather since they both lived in Eugene/Springfield. It was a letter from my grandmother’s lawyer. She had died… There was a trust fund for me and Kevin. (I knew nothing about this.)

It left instructions to contact the lawyer. First thing I did was look online for her obituary and found it. I was floored to find out my grandparents were divorced. But looking back, it was smart for my grandmother to do this, as my grandfather wasn’t the nicest person in the world. (And the main reason I was cut off from my grandmother…) But they acted together and kept it a secret from me. Little did I know it was one of hundreds of secrets.

This morning I called the lawyer who told me about the trust fund. He also volunteered that he’d sent Jodi a trust fund too. So of course I flipped out at the mention of Jodi’s name. I instantly demanded (nicely… ok I begged) for Jodi’s address and phone number. He very happily gave it to me and said something about her wanting to know about me too.

What he didn’t know is that Jodi had no clue about me and it wasn’t until my grandfather’s death last year that there was even mention of another grandchild. Then when my grandmother died, she heard about me again. Then of course, today, I called her.

I write this through tears now.. it’s been a pretty rough day and I’m not sure how to take it all. Up and down, exciting and scary, definitely one of the biggest rollercoaster rides I’ve ever been on. Sad, happy, scary… think of any emotion: I felt it today 100 times.

I was on the phone non-stop. The lawyer called me back. My grandmother’s accountant called me back. Many questions were answered, and many weren’t. At the end of this day I have more questions than I ever had before. But that’s for another day. Right now I’m tired and Jodi is going to call me in a bit… so.. I’m going to relax and wait for her to call.

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